A Contemplation ...

You’ve heard the phrase, “why do bad things happen to good people” all your life. The phrase is fundamental to many people’s approach toward faith. The question is often a faith “qualifier”. When people ask the question it usually manifests as a challenge. The “ask” is rarely a true question in search of an answer, but more of an accusation … of fate … circumstances and God I suppose. It’s often an expression of exasperation, a defiant fist raised and shaking toward the heavens.

I wonder; what is “bad” and what is “good” in the context of that question? Considering the whole of it, I don’t think the question really addresses the root issue. Usually, “bad” has to do with extraordinary physical or mental suffering and loss. But that is not entirely accurate. In suffering, “bad” is relative. In goodness, “good” is relative. It doesn’t matter how good I think I am … there will always be found someone “gooder” than I. In that relative sense then, everyone is good – except, perhaps, that one poor soul at the end of the human relativity line!

If something “bad” happens to me, does the question matter? It certainly will from “my” perspective. But if my “bad” is not another’s “bad” then the matter is irrelevant except for me. If “bad” and “good” are then relative, let’s remove bad and good from the equation. We are left with, “Why do “things” happen to “people?”. That does simplify things a bit.

If “bad” is death or loss, then I guess we will have to chalk-up all of life as “bad” - if loss is the focus. Could we refine and simplify the question further to, Why does “life” happen to people? A great question but a bit too abstract for this discussion. A man I used to do business with in Turkey gave me a gift with this inscription; “When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul laughs for what it has found.” ~ a Sufi aphorism. ~
I’ve met a few people in my life who have a different perspective on the whole thing. They are people who have endured or who are enduring a prolonged “bad” time. I want to tell you about one. He’s an older gentleman. His wife was failing. He was enduring a “bad” time as far as I’m concerned. Her terminal cancer had her bed-ridden and he was her primary caregiver. His life was a cycle of visceral routines serving his wife’s every personal need as she slipped away. He went about his day quietly, pleasantly and never complained. This fellow’s mission and purpose in life had become his wife’s comfort and dignity. A bad time from my perspective – a call to serve from his.

I think he’s a “good” man. He certainly acts good. He’s courteous, he dresses well. I’ve never heard him swear. So, of course, that means he has never sworn, never been cross with his wife, has never been impatient, has never cried out “why!”. He’s always good – around me. Perhaps he’s just a really good actor - a poser. I say that because I’m a poser. We’re all posers.

Anyway, I asked him once how he was “bearing-up” through it all and he blew me away by telling me (in a hushed voice that trembled ever so slightly – reverently) that he believed that he was undergoing what he was to prepare him to help others who may one day undergo the same experience. wow.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Let’s re-phrase that; Why are those who will be used to help others taken through a trial that prepares them to serve others? Why? Does it really matter why? I’m just thankful that they are and I pray that they do endure it. But if I had to answer why, I’d say; because they bless us. And as far as “good people” goes, I prefer the word “grace” … people of grace. Grace: Pleasing, showing favor, beauty of form, composed, decent, thoughtful of others. I saw those qualities in that gentleman. He displayed a wonderful form.

I believe that we are all uniquely and purposefully gifted. The circumstances of life call-up our gifts into service. “Circumstances” present themselves as loss, change, hardship or opportunity – all depending on your perspective. If we relax our puny grip on life, if we lower our resistance and let the circumstances flow and submit ourselves to the moment at hand – we may find that there flows through us an energy and power that amplifies our gifts in wonderful ways. We find endurance and authentic purpose.

A close friend often describes life as a tapestry made strand by strand in which we submit the warp of our life to the weft of the master weaver’s hand. One day we will be able to stand back and behold the work of art that has been our life that day-by-day we were too close to perceive. A life of deeds and service performed through us rather than by us.

Well, it’s a new year. So, Happy New Year! May it be full of grace, endurance, purpose and challenges converted into service to others.

“If you’re going through hell … keep going!” ~ Winston Churchill (of course …) ~

All the Best!

Bill