My niece got married on Labor Day weekend. The wedding quickened a memory that some time back it had occurred to me that the woman I married many years ago - when I see her - is not the person that others will see.
I met my wife when we were both 19 years old. We’ve been married now for over thirty years and if you meet my wife, the woman you will see is not at all the woman that I see.
I met my wife when we were both 19 years old. We’ve been married now for over thirty years and if you meet my wife, the woman you will see is not at all the woman that I see.
What I see is an amalgam of my wife at 19 and every year in between. What I see is a sweetheart, a lover, a woman becoming a mother in the throes of childbirth, a playful partner with a coquettish smile and a sparkle in her eye that slays me every time, a mother bathing her children, a beautiful women - her face caressed by soft candle light - across the table from me in a romantic little Paris restaurant.
I see a strong, fearless, soaking wet woman perched on the heaving bow pulpit of our sailboat reaching out precariously for a mooring buoy as we make anchorage in the midst of a storm. I see a woman going under sedation for surgery and coming out of it on the other end. I see a woman shedding tears of grief and anguish at the loss of a loved one, or of melancholy at the end of a sentimental movie or of joy upon the realization that God has indeed moved in her life in a very personal way.
I see her blushing, laughing, frowning. I see her brow furrowed and lips pursed the way they do when I watch her so absorbed reading a book.
Oh, there is so much more that “I” see that you or anyone will never see. And I see it all together every time I see my wife.
Many years ago it struck me that the mirrors in our home have captured the reflections of our lives and the images of this woman I love along the way. Perhaps somewhere and in some dimension, those reflections still exist. For me they are recorded, embellished by sentiment, in my memory. That day I beckoned my wife to come join me in front of a mirror to look at ourselves and “reflect”. And so a little tradition started.
For close family members who are getting married I prepare a unique wedding token. It is a simple framing of a mirror beside a poem I was inspired to write titled, “Wedding Reflections”
Wedding Reflections
A bond today, commitments made and holy vows exchanged,
a young and hopeful image cast … sincere and unafraid.
This steadfast argent portal will record with object truth,
the passing days and life’s extremes … and temptor’s sly reproofs.
But through it all you won’t despair; for in your love abounds,
a certain bliss that overcomes the fallen-ness that surrounds.
With every year and trial the overcoming strengthens,
as Master molds you bonded ones whom lovingly He chastens.
What life, what pact, was ever good that was not ever tested?
So let no blemish quench you that ever is reflected.
As decades pass, life rushes on, and as you steer your courses,
the rocks and shoals will take their tolls upon your scant resources.
Be mindful that this portal sees the subtle changes shape,
that day by day you won’t perceive but will appreciate.
So come before this mirror from time to time and see,
The gentle way His guiding hand has made your marriage be.
Reflect.
All the best!
Bill
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