Living FOR or IN The Moment

Am I living FOR or IN the moment? Sounds like an exercise in semantics and I suppose it is – substantive semantics. This topic has been on my heart for some time.

I recently heard the testimony of a man who, when faced with the decision to be loyal to a friendship and keep his word or seize a lucrative business opportunity, forsook his friend and his word. Oh, he faced his friend on the matter. He pleaded and pushed for a release from his obligations, and received a graceful response from his “true” but now “wounded” friend. He even looked himself in the mirror as he shaved and rationalized his actions against his responsibilities as a father and head of a household to be a good “provider”. So – he made his decision, sealed it with actions and … he never looked back.

This man’s wife knew about the decision, thought about it and appreciated the security and the lifestyle perks that his decision brought to her and their family. But deep down she had to admit that she was a little let down, a little disappointed, a little diminished.

We’ve all rationalized decisions that have compromised our honor and we too have never looked back. They litter our wake like so much flotsam and trash - - - Living FOR THE MOMENT.

A woman is sexually taunted and dishonored in public, a child is teased and bullied, a rude person pushes past an elder in line, a husband verbally abuses his wife in a public place, a homeless person is brushed aside or ignored, a person of faith is openly chastised – and no one intervenes or even offers a word of encouragement or a gesture of humanity - - - Convenient FOR THE MOMENT.   

A word spoken in anger that cannot be taken back. A child scarred, a wife wounded and wondering, a worker hurt, resentful and untrusting. A promise broken because it fell in the list of priorities - - - Sufficient FOR THE MOMENT.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ~ Ambrose Bierce

I remember presenting a video program to the men of the church titled “Not A Fan” by Kyle Idelman/City on a Hill Productions. The main character in the story is a business man. This man was religious and no more self centered and ruthless than most but he compromised and ‘went along to get along’. One day he realized his regrettable behaviors and lifestyle. Circumstances in his life humbled him and in that brief pause he was called to true, balanced faith. He answered the call, placing his complete TRUST in Jesus Christ. Shortly thereafter he uttered these haunting words to his wife, “Now that God's in my life, I can't see my future, I can't see two feet in front of me. I don't know what's going to happen to me - and it's such a relief!”

I have no desire to cast negative regret by this message but regret is certainly an element of the equation. Regret is a powerful motivator. It is also a powerful shackle that can be attached to a load of baggage that will bog us down and stop us dead in our tracks. We can be inspired to change by regret or it can trap us into stagnancy. Jesus allows us to un-harness ourselves from our pasts and take on His yolk, a yoke that is gentle and easy; “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30).

Face it. We are created with a spirit and we WILL worship something. It may be a career, it may be sex, it may be food, it may be our very selves, it may be our anger for someone who mistreated us. We are going to be yoked one way or another. Regret is also a yoke - a thing worshipped.

“Regret for time wasted can become a power for good in the time that remains, if we will only stop the waste and the idle, useless regretting.” ~ Arthur Brisbane

“A person is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”

~ John S. B. Barrymore

 “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” ~ Fulton Oursler

When regret results in noble action it is worthy and good. When it results in self pity and lingering contemplation it becomes a thing to regret all its own and an excuse for inaction. Living FOR THE MOMENT may result in regrets that prevent us from living IN THE MOMENT.

God is IN THE MOMENT. He presents opportunities EVERY MOMENT.  

Robert Lewis expounds on four traits that mark a true man in his series titled The Quest For Authentic Manhood of which Jesus serves as the truest model. These traits are the mark of authentic women as well. They are also the traits of people who live IN THE MOMENT.

1) A real man or woman REJECTS PASSIVITY.  Such a person intervenes, initiates, takes risks for the good and does not sit passively aside. Such a person engages. Such a one anticipates the regret that follows inaction. One is ready. One prepares. One acts.

2) A real man or woman ACCEPTS RESPONSIBILITY.

3) A real man or woman LEADS COURAGEOUSLY.

4) A real man/woman acts and does all things with his/her eyes set on a greater reward not found in this life.

I begin to realize that such people LIVE IN THE MOMENT FOR ETERNITY. Such a person’s life is known for its noble character, healthy relationships, God-serving, productive children and the achievement of great things toward truly noble causes.

Bottom line: Live not FOR the moment but IN the moment FOR eternity.

All the best!

Bill