Love on the Balance Sheet

What Love is and What Love Isn’t – Love on the balance

What is love? A word used so much, embracing so many things. Everyone wants it at their core.

But what is Love? How do we express Love? How do we show it? How do we receive it? Love is thoughts expressed. Love is actions. Love is adoration. Love is experienced. Love is received. Love is given.

We want to know what love is.

The lyrics from a song performed by the 70’s and 80’s rock group “Foreigner” come to mind;

I Want To Know What Love Is ~ Foreigner

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me,
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me …

According to these lyrics; Love finds us. Love replaces loneliness. Loves shines and warms. Love helps us face life. Love can be shown to us. I think those lyrics sum up a world-view notion of what love is or what the world wants it to be.

To the question, “what is love?”, the Apostle John covers the topic very well in his first epistle in chapters 3&4. Jesus Himself said that “greater love has no one than this; than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13).

Most everyone has read the “Love verses” found in 1^st Corinthians 13. But have we - really?  We build entire wedding ceremonies around that chapter. What does it really say about love?

In 1^st Corinthians, Chapter 13 verse 4 thru 8 (I’ve listed the words presented in the NKJV, NIV and the ESV) there is a balance sheet of sorts of what love IS and what Love is NOT;

What Love IS:

·         It suffers long/it is patient

·         It is kind

·         It rejoices in the truth

·         It bears all things/it always protects

·         It believes all things/it always trusts

·         It hopes all things

·         It endures all things/it always perseveres

·         It is unfailing/it never fails/it never ends

What Love is NOT:

·         It does not envy

·         It does not parade itself/it does not boast

·         It is not puffed up/it is not proud/it is not arrogant

·         It does not behave rudely/it is not rude/it does not dishonor others

·         It does not seek its own/it is not self-seeking/it does not insist on its own way

·         It is not provoked/it is not irritable/it is not easily angered/it is not resentful

·         It thinks no evil/it does not keep a record of wrongs

·         It does not rejoice in inequity/it does not rejoice in wrongdoing/it does not delight in evil

Love IS eight things and there are eight things that love is NOT.

To know what love IS is also to know what love is NOT.

If I were to boil down the character of love from this contrast of characteristics I come up with one leveling word – Selfless.

You might refine that to unconditional blind trust and true faith.

Love isn’t giving and receiving things, or attention or preference or something to be proud of or to show off. It is about respect and giving of self. I also see that Love believes, bears and has a capacity to endure which are the characteristics and essence of grace.

Love does not take a relationship for granted but operates out of respect. Love bridles its tongue.

Love exercises restraint in all things – even favor – if that benefits the greater good and the longer term.

Love is not provoked, it resists the temptation of taking offenses and believes the best in the other regardless of accusations and spirits of division that endeavor to tear down a relationship.

To express love is to show it by what you are and what you are not in the relationship.

One more thing. The Bible tells of a character trait, a capacity, that God has that us human beings do not and it makes our struggle with love all the more difficult to work out in our lives. That thing is found in Isaiah 43:25 – God forgives and God FORGETS. Yes – God FORGETS! God blots out our transgressions and He forgets our sins. He forgets FOR HIS OWN SAKE. Transgression is something that God will NOT hold onto - FOR HIS OWN SAKE.

God is perfect, I am not. I have memories and experiences and I may forgive but I am loathe to forget. Perhaps that is central to our sin nature - this "holding on" to offenses.

God help me.

And may the peace of the Lord be with you.

Blessings,

Bill