To Father

Fathering is so much more than the mere siring of a child and our culture often cheapens what it means to be a true Father.

The word Father is a word of action that encompasses loving - selfless action, intervention, courage, commitment, sacrifice and endurance.

Fathering is about rejecting passivity and getting involved, intervening and even INVADING – with fierce love - a situation and fighting for the welfare of a child who may be at risk or threatened by a bad influence.

Fathering is courageous leadership. It is strength under control. It is power directed toward the defense of those who are dependent and defenseless. It is displacing fear and uncertainty just by being there. It is being responsible and never quitting, never giving up  --- never leaving. It is about following through.

Fathering is looking for the greater reward - it is turning the other cheek to rejection from even loved ones when they don’t perceive the outcomes and consequences of their actions and the impact on the horizons of their lives that you, from experience, can see so vividly as you strive to protect them from themselves. 

It’s doing what’s right and doing the thankless thing, when no one else gets it - - - and to keep on doing it.

Fathering is a narrow, difficult, long walk. But it is a walk toward honor and profound joy and gratification in its steadfastness.

Father’s Day is the day we celebrate those who truly “Father”.

And that’s not easy. And we don’t always succeed every day.

Fathering is in many ways STRATEGIC in scope. I encourage all fathers to persevere for the rewards of Fatherhood because those rewards do not always come quickly.

The Bible says, in Proverbs 22:6 to "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

It is a fact that Fatherly sacrifice, deeds and guidance may not yield fruit for decades. But take encouragement from the scriptures and have patience.

James 1:2-4 "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

And isn't it really true that we are honored as a Father not just on Father's Day but on every day when our children display God honoring character?

Like;

• When our child chooses truth over anything false.
• When our child chooses purity over compromise.
• When our child chooses charity and sacrifice over self indulgence.
• When our child chooses virtue over going along just to get along and succumbing to peer pressure.
• When our child chooses hard work and responsibility over short-cuts.
• When our child respects his or her mother.
• When our child gives their heart and life to Christ!

In Psalm 127: 3-5 we find these powerful words, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, but shall stand up to their enemies at the gate."

So, like arrows – we prepare our children and launch them out into the world like flaming missiles of light – illuminating, glorifying and edifying to God and Godly principles. Our children are, after all, what we TRAIN THEM UP TO BE.

SO - 

If you have CLAIMED your children and walk the narrow walk I have described – Happy Father’s Day to you!

If you have stumbled as a Father and realize that you need to RECLAIM your children and are committed to doing it – Happy Father’s Day to you!

If, perhaps, you don’t have natural children but you have been presented with an opportunity to mentor or Father a child or to graft yourself into a broken family as the Father figure - and have taken up that responsibility – Happy Father’s Day to you!

God bless and all the best!

Bill 

Be Of Good Courage & Succeed!

The cowardly lion in the Wizard of OZ gives this speech;

”Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the Sphinx the Seventh Wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in ape-ricot? What have they got that I ain’t got? Courage! - - - You can say that again.”

Poor cowardly lion. All the size and physical might of the real thing and he uses it to bully weaker things - even the small dog Toto - who stands up to him and sends him whimpering off. He attributes just about everything, every mundane action – the waving of an inanimate flag, even a syllable in the word apricot - to courage.

Poor action-less, victimized lion! Everything seems to have courage but him. Or has he simply rejected courage for fear of what it may require of him? How was he convinced that he, the very emblem of courage, was left out of the courage distribution? Was it a past failure? A string of failures? Was it a compelling lie that he bought? The absurdity of it all is very well made by his proclamation.

But isn’t he us, at times, in a way?

Our cowardly lion eventually finds courage in fellowship with others in a cause far greater than himself through circumstances running away from the things he feared and toward something he didn’t understand. At the end of the day, though his posture has somewhat improved, he is really the same individual that he was at the beginning of his adventure - just a bit more conscious of who he is and what has been revived inside of him.

I find that courage and success are close relatives. Randy Alcorn writes, in the May 13, 2013 CBMC “Monday Manna” titled, “Courage in the Workplace”, about the Courage to Stand, the Courage to Proceed Despite Danger, the Courage to Persevere and the Courage to Act on Convictions. These all underscore perhaps the most popular notion of courage which is action in the face of fear or danger.

Courage is power. Would not a life lived with such power be a successful one?

Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Thomas Edison said this about success, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Bill Cosby; “I don’t know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

I knew a successful salesman who learned from experience that for every one hundred prospecting calls he could expect a success rate of five. Every rejection was met with this enthusiastic response, “That’s one more rejection toward my goal of 95!”

Where does the kind of power to Stand, Proceed, Persevere and Act on Convictions come from? I think it comes from an inner power activated by a love connection with God.

Courage is an essential element of the character God had in mind when He created us in His image. It is imprinted like programming language on our hearts. Whenever we observe a selfless act of true courage something resonates in our hearts that stirs a call to courage.

After much thought and contemplation I believe that love is most expressed by one's obedience and trust toward another. True obedience covers trust so – let’s simplify it to love being obedience to another regardless of self. Think about it. True courage is an act of love because to love God is to obey and trust God and to obey God will require courage.

The Bible is full of commands to stand firm and to be courageous such as in 1 Corinthians 16:13; “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”

A brother in the faith recently pointed me to the book of Joshua, first chapter, verses 1 through 18. He knew that God often emphasizes His most profound instructions and commands by repeating them, but what he found remarkable was that in Joshua God uncharacteristically repeats Himself TWICE on the topic of courage! Remarkable indeed. So I looked it up and sure enough God does repeat Himself not once but twice for Joshua to be courageous, to be of good courage, not to be discouraged. Why? Because God knows what Joshua is going to face and go through on account of Him. Good knows what we are going through and will go through on account of Him.

Jesus Himself on his final evening with His disciples before the crucifixion (the Upper Room Discourse) in John 16:33 (NIV) sums it up; “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus is encouraging them to take courage.

Let’s not leave out God in the person of the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:26 (NKJV); “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

The voice of courage is that still, small, often whispering, compelling, convicting voice that rises like a trumpet call for us to GO, or WAIT, or DO IT, or to STAND FAST and not compromise in the face of a threat to our faith, our testimony or His glory - despite the (apparent) risk. It is the voice of truth.

Philippians 2:13 (NIV) seals it with; “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.” There it is! God is that power. That courage and all courage comes from God. Courage is God rising up through us. And so every act resulting from this noble sort of courage is to His glory, His account. This power, this courage is released through love that manifests in the form of trusting obedience. And we know the victory has been won by the blood of Jesus.

Living in the moment, responsive to His commands, trusting in His wisdom and love we can focus on the process and release the outcome to His providence. This is courageous living, the key to a successful life.

Randy Alcorn defines courage as; “willingness to step beyond the confines of the familiar, established and dependable.”

What is your definition of courage?

Oswald Chambers writes, in what might be a definition of success; "God's call is for you to be his loyal friend, to accomplish His purposes and goals for your life."

What is your definition of success and a successful life?

All the best!

Bill

Idols & Integrity

Years ago before I got serious about my faith I carried a number of false gods on the throne of my heart. One was the god of cruising sailboats. I grew up around boats and learned to sail and to be a boatman. But I coveted the boats of others who had boats larger and “nicer" than the ones available to me and I built an altar in my heart to a 30 foot sailboat.

The throne of our heart is a battleground and the true and living God will share it with nothing and no one. Money, power, success, toys, sex, pleasure, even family must come second to God – or He will have no part of us. I didn’t make this up – it’s in the Bible. In fact, read the second commandment closely (Exodus 20:4) to find that God considers any idol on the throne of our heart other than Him as a major affront and an act of hate toward Him. The second commandment is, in fact, rather lengthy on the subject.

God will not be fooled. He knows our heart even if we don’t. We cannot simply worship him with our mouths and serve another (2Kings17:41, Isaiah 29:13).

He is a jealous God – thank God. He loves us and pursues us like a jealous lover; He is the ‘Hound of Heaven’. Does He allow for money, power, success, toys, even sex and pleasure? Of course He does and He delights in our pleasure in them - in their proper place and perspective. And family, of course He loves family and the idea of family and He wishes for us to have and to be loved by family – in their proper place and perspective. But He must be first – and all these other things He will add.

I remember the day my wife and I with our young children drove from the marina where we had just signed the purchase agreement on a 30 foot racer/cruiser sailboat. I remember it very well. I was bursting with pride ... I had arrived! My idol, my golden calf, was on its throne at last!

We bought that boat with money we didn’t have and took care of it with money we didn’t have. But the lenders and the credit cards didn’t complain or advise against. I named the boat “Integrity”. As I think back on it, the name was more a statement or maybe an attempt to seize the word for myself as the label for my life ... a noble gesture. The boat was older and needed work and I threw myself into the task with singular purpose to make my emblem of success as shiny as possible. Rain or shine, wind or no wind, we used that boat. We launched it in early April and hauled it out after Thanksgiving to maximize the sailing season. We sailed in storm and calm. I made us a slave to it, to justify its expense and what it meant to me. It sat firmly in the throne of my heart and became its dictator.

"Integrity" under sail on Narragansett Bay

That boat never loved me and though I referred to it as “her” and "she” our love affair was one-sided and quite impersonal. Truth be told, I was rarely myself on that boat. I was on edge and anxious most of the time. My temper was not my own there and I snapped at my wife and children often in the heat of an “important” maneuver or situation. I had no patience there. Nothing met my expectations of perfection, my expectations of this idol I had so worshipped in my mind. We would sail to a destination and as soon as we were anchored and secure my mind was racing for the next thing to do to justify and satisfy this idol. So I would busy myself with a task or sedate my angst with alcohol in the spirit of seafaring. I would lay awake in my bed on stormy nights wide-eyed wondering if I had secured “her” proper. The next day I would drag myself down to the marina before work to satisfy my anxiety and adjust the lines and fenders – after the fact.

It is true that the best two days of a boat owner’s life are the day he purchases and the day he sells his boat – at least in my case. It is also true that a boat is indeed like a hole in the water into which one throws money. The cost had become too much and the work to maintain her in the image of the idol I had crafted in my mind was endless. Selling her was a frantic effort and I let her go for far less than my heart believed she was worth. The new owner didn’t seem to appreciate anything about her – all the intimate details of her. I gave her away never having truly owned her – she had owned me.

Many years after I had sold that boat I came across a classified ad for a boat described very much like mine. The ad even listed the name of the boat: “Integrity”. My heart leaped like the heart of a lover for a lost love and I took the drive to the boatyard in the listing. There she was propped up in the corner of the yard. I almost didn’t find her. I almost didn’t recognize her. She looked awful and surprisingly small.

Her subsequent owners had taken poor care of her. Vestiges of improvements I had made and details I had invested in her were weathered, tarnished and decaying. My heart was wrenched to see it – this idol I had so worshipped – so shoddy and forgotten - set aside to this forgotten corner of the yard where the boats that are not likely to sell - or abandoned - are stored. Even the name on the transom was faded. Integrity, just a word. This vessel did not reflect its name. She called to me to rescue her and for a fleeting moment I thought I might. But she had no hold on me anymore and I saw her for what she was and I turned away. I had a different perspective.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the lines of a beautifully sculpted sailboat and I love the feel of the surging swells under a hull humming along on a brisk broad reach. Oh I do so love that! I believe that God wants me to enjoy that too – in its proper place and in perspective. For the time being He has me busy with other things and so I will wait patiently until that time, if it comes. What is more important now is that “this” earthen vessel be labeled “Integrity”.   

~ "He who walks with integrity walks securely." ~

 Proverbs 10:9

All the best!

Bill   

My Day With Jesus

The following essay "My Day With Jesus" is the result of a "homework" assignment from my Truth @ Work ® Christian Business Roundtable Group. I recommend doing the exercise for yourself ...

I wake in a haze at 5:45AM on a weekday as my wife gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom to prepare for her day. Drifting in and out of sleep, my inclination is to sleep-in since I work from a home office and I’m just a little lazy but something, a presence in the room, brings me to full alertness. Someone is standing beside my bed! Is this a dream or is it real? I open my eyes. It’s real!

It’s Jesus! He’s standing beside my bed looking down on me – a slightly amused grin is on His face. His eyes widen.

He doesn’t speak but His warm smile projects a calming message and assurance that all is well and that I am His beloved. Beloved! I rise from bed just as my wife enters the room dressed in her “scrubs” (she works in health care). She’s at first startled by His presence but immediately processes the situation and declares, “It’s You - Jesus!” He nods yes. They share words and thoughts - like old friends. I don’t hear everything but there is a detailed conversation going on. The conversation is intimate and I am deeply gratified by it. I had no idea …

Somehow time goes by and Jesus sets my wife on her way without much ceremony – and she’s gone – to work. I am there alone with Jesus. He tells me that He is here to spend the day with me. I don’t know how to act. He assures me to just do what I would normally do and that he will just come along for the ride.

I shave and shower (all the while wondering whether or not He's poking around and what He's discovering while I'm getting ready) and then go downstairs to make some coffee. He's standing in the living room in front of my book cases looking at the volumes there. I grab a cup and offer Him one as I return to Him in the living room and my reading chair where I normally do a brief morning devotional. Jesus settles in the other chair in the room (my wife’s reading chair) and just gazes at me. I’m a little self-conscious. I pick up my Bible and open it to the book of James and begin to read but cannot help looking up at Him as He watches me with an approving smile. I feel like a little boy under the watchful eye of a loving and supportive teacher. I feel “right”. My mind drifts to prayer and somehow I feel Jesus’ thoughts flooding me with supplications for others I know in my life. The needs are extraordinary and deep and burdensome – I had no idea how others struggled compared to me. I begin to realize just how Jesus has cared for me and interceded for me in ways that I could never imagine praying for. I resolve to pray less for my needs, more for the needs of others and rest in thankfulness for His care and wisdom because He knows far better what I need and what to protect me from.

I have a coffee appointment with a Truth at Work ® contact so Jesus and I leave the house and head out. At the café where I regularly meet people, I get my coffee and grab a quiet table for my appointment. Jesus lingers at the counter talking to the women from whom I normally get my coffee and scone. They are entranced as He speaks to them about peace and love. He is so natural and relaxed and so genuinely interested in them. They are naturally drawn to Him. I wonder why it can seem so hard for me to project my faith to these people I regularly encounter and who know me. After a while He comes and sits with me just as my appointment, David, arrives.

David is a little confused at first when he sees my companion, so I introduce Jesus and David responds a little guardedly. David doesn’t recognize Jesus and I’m a little surprised since I thought David would be excited to meet Jesus face to face. The meeting starts to fall flat and David fumbles around a bit for an excuse that he has another meeting to attend. I’m a little embarrassed but Jesus keeps looking alternatively at David and then me reaching out with His hand and touching David’s arm gently while urging him to stay a little longer. I can feel His love flow toward David and I can actually see David’s posture change from tense and restless to relaxed and restful right there in his chair. Then Jesus plainly says to David that He loves him and David begins to weep softly. I am overwhelmed as I realize that right then and there Jesus is drawing David to Himself and David is releasing his life to Jesus. Everything that is going on around us in that café seems to melt away. The next thing I know we’re outside the café with David. We’re saying our farewells and embracing with the promise of meeting again soon. David looks remarkably different.

We walk down the busy street past people going about their business and I turn a corner toward my parked car. It isn’t long before I realize that Jesus is no longer with me. I backtrack and find him stooped down having a conversation with an old man sitting at the doorway of a building. The man is unkempt and weathered. Jesus looks up at me and asks, “May I have the eight dollars of cash in your pocket?” I check and that’s exactly what I have. After a moment of hesitation (now I’ll have no cash) I hand it over. Jesus places the money in the man’s hand and places his other hand over the money as he whispers a blessing on the man and says that He loves him and to remember what He said. The man genuinely appreciates the needed gift and nods, gently folding the money and putting it in his pocket. I don’t know what Jesus said to that man but it was obviously very personal and convicting. The man keeps looking at Jesus as we leave.

Then we are in my car headed to a meeting with one of my clients. We arrive in the lobby of the old building and the receptionist behind the glass panel recognizes me immediately but looks a little puzzled at my companion. I sign us in on the visitor log; Names: “Bill Girrier / Jesus Christ”, Company: (I pause - then write) “The Kingdom”. I’ve been calling on this account for two years and it occurs to me that I’ve never really told or indicated to the receptionist that I am a Christian. Then an expression of recognition crosses her face and she lifts from her chair, slides the glass panel open and, looking right past me and directly toward Jesus, her face explodes with joy as she exclaims, “You’re Jesus!”. “Yes I am Debbie”, He responds, “How are you and how is your daughter?”  Debbie disappears for a split second as she darts to the door that separates us from her small office. In an instant Debbie is with us in the waiting area and throws herself into Jesus’ arms. She’s crying and telling Jesus how her daughter is struggling but that she knows there is a plan and that no matter what the outcome that God knows best. I’m dumbfounded. Then I notice the picture of Jesus and the rosary beads hanging on the wall in Debbie’s small office. I remember seeing them and thinking that her religion was not as authentic as mine and writing off all chance of ever sharing my faith with her on account of that judgment.

Somehow, Jesus and I disengage from Debbie and we meet with the owner of the company, my client, in his office. I sort of awkwardly introduce my client to Jesus and I’m a little ashamed at how I’m almost apologizing for His presence with me. Jesus’ expression does not change but I feel a pang of regret for having let Him down. It occurs to me that Jesus has always been with me every time before only that He was invisible. Was His significance to me as invisible? Jesus has a way of putting my client at ease and the conversation takes off. I find my client asking Jesus many questions about life and business and decisions that I would have loved for my client to ask me. Jesus doesn’t answer every question that my client asks directly but His responses are thought provoking and ooze with wisdom and discernment. I marvel at how well He handles my client and how much my client appreciates what he imparts – even if it’s not a direct answer - but more a way, an approach or an attitude toward dealing with things. As we leave my client says something about how Jesus really impacted his heart on the matters that were important to him. His heart!

I take Jesus to lunch and the whole affair is one opportunity after another to express love, offer a kindness or express compassion and friendship toward the people we encounter. And we encounter SO MANY people. I just sit back and let Him lead. I experience no fear or self consciousness and it’s so easy with Jesus along.

I decide to finish the day by taking Jesus to my favorite beach and to a specific spot where I have spent many hours over the years alone contemplating and praying to Him. He knows the place very well and we walk together picking up beach glass of the most extraordinary colors, shapes and lusters. We look out over the water and I experience a fullness of the creation that blows my mind. I can actually see the wind and see the subtle temperatures of the water and fish below the surface. I can see for miles and miles with extraordinary clarity and I can see planets and stars and galaxies in the sky in broad daylight! It’s too much and I have to close my eyes. But then my ears pick up on so much that I have to beg Jesus to close them – and He does. And He puts His arm around me and whispers “my beloved” - and I am undone.

I ask Him what He thinks about the political, social and economic issues that have me and many others I know wondering about the path of the world. He gives me a knowing half-smile and shakes His head a little. With that I experience a surge of consciousness that He drew me to Himself and when I had surrendered to His irresistible attraction that He gave me a new heart and that I was no longer OF this world and not to concern myself so much with the superficial matters but simply to be anxious for nothing and follow Him led by my new heart. Then all those things swirling around about me came into perspective with a whisper – “love one another as I have loved you”. 

That night at dinner I marvel at the animated discussion Jesus is having with my wife. Our dog has taken a position at His feet, curled up, eyes closed tight and peaceful and he has not moved a molecule since taking his station there. I say a grace over our meal that is the grace of my life and it goes on and on and I don’t want to stop. My wife and I must have eaten but I don’t remember it, only that Jesus told us stories that I could have listened to for eternity.

The time passes and then Jesus gets up and says that He will be going. I experience a surge of grief, but only for a passing moment. His smile reassures me that He is not really leaving but merely passing from my sight and physical consciousness. Then He is gone.

My wife and I retire to our bedroom silent in our thoughts. As I get ready for bed I check the pockets of my pants for those dazzling pieces of beach glass that Jesus and I had found but they are not there except for one small, fairly plain and common looking artifact. It’s nothing that anyone would remark about and maybe it was already in my pocket from a previous trip to the beach. It doesn’t matter.

Laying back in bed I kiss my wife who is absolutely glowing, then turn and melt into the mattress slipping off into a deep, carefree, effortless sleep. Tomorrow is going to be different.      

All the best!

Bill 

Living FOR or IN The Moment

Am I living FOR or IN the moment? Sounds like an exercise in semantics and I suppose it is – substantive semantics. This topic has been on my heart for some time.

I recently heard the testimony of a man who, when faced with the decision to be loyal to a friendship and keep his word or seize a lucrative business opportunity, forsook his friend and his word. Oh, he faced his friend on the matter. He pleaded and pushed for a release from his obligations, and received a graceful response from his “true” but now “wounded” friend. He even looked himself in the mirror as he shaved and rationalized his actions against his responsibilities as a father and head of a household to be a good “provider”. So – he made his decision, sealed it with actions and … he never looked back.

This man’s wife knew about the decision, thought about it and appreciated the security and the lifestyle perks that his decision brought to her and their family. But deep down she had to admit that she was a little let down, a little disappointed, a little diminished.

We’ve all rationalized decisions that have compromised our honor and we too have never looked back. They litter our wake like so much flotsam and trash - - - Living FOR THE MOMENT.

A woman is sexually taunted and dishonored in public, a child is teased and bullied, a rude person pushes past an elder in line, a husband verbally abuses his wife in a public place, a homeless person is brushed aside or ignored, a person of faith is openly chastised – and no one intervenes or even offers a word of encouragement or a gesture of humanity - - - Convenient FOR THE MOMENT.   

A word spoken in anger that cannot be taken back. A child scarred, a wife wounded and wondering, a worker hurt, resentful and untrusting. A promise broken because it fell in the list of priorities - - - Sufficient FOR THE MOMENT.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ~ Ambrose Bierce

I remember presenting a video program to the men of the church titled “Not A Fan” by Kyle Idelman/City on a Hill Productions. The main character in the story is a business man. This man was religious and no more self centered and ruthless than most but he compromised and ‘went along to get along’. One day he realized his regrettable behaviors and lifestyle. Circumstances in his life humbled him and in that brief pause he was called to true, balanced faith. He answered the call, placing his complete TRUST in Jesus Christ. Shortly thereafter he uttered these haunting words to his wife, “Now that God's in my life, I can't see my future, I can't see two feet in front of me. I don't know what's going to happen to me - and it's such a relief!”

I have no desire to cast negative regret by this message but regret is certainly an element of the equation. Regret is a powerful motivator. It is also a powerful shackle that can be attached to a load of baggage that will bog us down and stop us dead in our tracks. We can be inspired to change by regret or it can trap us into stagnancy. Jesus allows us to un-harness ourselves from our pasts and take on His yolk, a yoke that is gentle and easy; “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30).

Face it. We are created with a spirit and we WILL worship something. It may be a career, it may be sex, it may be food, it may be our very selves, it may be our anger for someone who mistreated us. We are going to be yoked one way or another. Regret is also a yoke - a thing worshipped.

“Regret for time wasted can become a power for good in the time that remains, if we will only stop the waste and the idle, useless regretting.” ~ Arthur Brisbane

“A person is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”

~ John S. B. Barrymore

 “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” ~ Fulton Oursler

When regret results in noble action it is worthy and good. When it results in self pity and lingering contemplation it becomes a thing to regret all its own and an excuse for inaction. Living FOR THE MOMENT may result in regrets that prevent us from living IN THE MOMENT.

God is IN THE MOMENT. He presents opportunities EVERY MOMENT.  

Robert Lewis expounds on four traits that mark a true man in his series titled The Quest For Authentic Manhood of which Jesus serves as the truest model. These traits are the mark of authentic women as well. They are also the traits of people who live IN THE MOMENT.

1) A real man or woman REJECTS PASSIVITY.  Such a person intervenes, initiates, takes risks for the good and does not sit passively aside. Such a person engages. Such a one anticipates the regret that follows inaction. One is ready. One prepares. One acts.

2) A real man or woman ACCEPTS RESPONSIBILITY.

3) A real man or woman LEADS COURAGEOUSLY.

4) A real man/woman acts and does all things with his/her eyes set on a greater reward not found in this life.

I begin to realize that such people LIVE IN THE MOMENT FOR ETERNITY. Such a person’s life is known for its noble character, healthy relationships, God-serving, productive children and the achievement of great things toward truly noble causes.

Bottom line: Live not FOR the moment but IN the moment FOR eternity.

All the best!

Bill

The Road Ahead

2013 dawns on a new set of circumstances – mostly variations of past circumstances – many the consequences of our decisions or indecisions - there is nothing new under the sun. Our Pastors encourage us with sermons on renewal and hope, political rhetoric is spouted about budgets and new beginnings, last minute donations and IRA contributions are made for tax deductions – fresh starts are resolved. For a moment we whimsically imagine outcomes that might be. Weight loss programs and fitness centers have their peak season. Exercise equipment manufacturers work overtime. January 1^st is the day we cast off the past and celebrate the first day of the rest of everybody’s life. But EVERY day is the first day of the rest of life … or eternity for that matter.

I have a gathering sense that more of us are beginning to make plans again. The last few years have deflated our sense of control over outcomes but I’m finding myself around folks who are patching that hole and re-inflating their future. But a smoldering ember of pessimism persists and we have to snuff it out.

A few weeks ago I had the flu and some undistracted time with God. I came away from that with a keen sense of His truth and absolute nature and how He abhors masqueraders and hypocrisy. He is not relative nor does He change with the “times”. He was and is and always will be. Everything is relative to Him. Isn’t it good to know that He doesn’t change – that He’s not a moving target?

In my supplications I asked God what interfered most with His progress through me for His purposes and He brought me to self examination and the exposure of petty sin in my life. What might seem inconsequential to you or even to me and certainly not imposing or hurtful toward anyone else, He revealed things in my life that impede His usefulness of me to His glory. The two words “suitable vessel” kept popping up.

I’ve quoted the words of Ian Thomas from his book, The Saving Life of Christ (©1961, Zondervan, ISBN 0-310-33262-1) before and I’ll quote them again, (p.13), ”Christ did not die simply that you might be saved from a bad conscience or even to remove the stain of past failure, but to “clear the decks” for divine action.”

Being convicted afresh I was nevertheless mindful of past failed attempts to “throw down” those petty things in my life. Now a whisper suggested a different approach – “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord.” (Zechariah 4:6). And so began a process of understanding that led to the idea that I should give to God as my Christmas gift to Him those things He had revealed to me that stood in the way of my being a suitable vessel for His work through me. The Bible instructs me that God wants these things. His Son willingly came and had poured on Him all of our transgressions so we might become “suitable vessels”. And by the power of God He will take them and keep them and I give them (bearing the desire of the temptations that will surely come to recall them) with no desire to take them back. What true gift was ever given that was ever taken back?   

SO WHAT’S HOLDING US BACK?

Following a thread from a message from my Pastor I was anxious to get to the bottom of a chronic problem that I see facing many business leaders with whom I network; call it the “Victim Mentality”. It has to do with that phenomenon I mentioned earlier about our deflated sense of control over outcomes. I believe that this condition permeates our society and is the motive for the rising and somewhat uncontrollable entitlement mentality that is driving division in our nation.   

I did a little research and found that there’s a whole lot of stuff written about victimization syndrome and self-pity. Considering that adjacent to all the lude placations, forms of sublimation and petty indulgences being offered and succumbed to all about us I suppose it’s reasonable to conclude that our nation suffers from an epidemic of self-pity and blaming. So where do we go from there?

Helen Keller said this about self-pity; “Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.”

Victimization is a trap. Recognizing that you have fallen into the snare of embracing victimization is the first antidote. Call it depression, call it grief, maybe its just plain old disappointment borne from an unrealized outcome. There is a place for that and a season. But we were not created to dwell there. Seasons are supposed to change and cycle through. We have a life to carry on. And so we have to, at some point, whatever the reason for our circumstances, take responsibility for your own life, leave the blame game to someone else, re-awaken an attitude of gratitude, nurture a forgiving heart toward our transgressors (real or imagined) in order to free not the transgressor but ourselves from the burden of the (real or imagined) offense, and defocus on ourselves by refocusing on helping others.

Why are things not going as we had hoped? First examine within and then look to what’s next – and do it. Make a plan and do the next thing. There are no victims – there are casualties and survivors in an often seemingly benign universe in which we swirl. I have grasped onto God’s outreached hand and I believe that He knows the end from the very beginning and that He does all things well. Stand up, dust off your feet and DO THE NEXT THING.     

Happy New Year and all the best!

Bill

As You Manifest … life is like a box of chocolates

You never know what’s sitting next to you. On a plane in that middle seat, next to you in line at the DMV, in the doctor’s waiting room. You just don’t know. A whole universe of perspective, life experience and, perhaps a serendipitous nugget of precious, timely, life-changing advice or idea may be sitting right next to you packaged in the form of a stranger. A gift, an opportunity, may be sitting right beside you. You never know.

Why is that person sitting next to you? Is it just chance and "nothing" or is it a divine appointment? That’s for you to decide, because you have a role in this. I’ve had enough “accidental” experience with divine appointments to know that “every” encounter with another human being is an opportunity to uncover something and to reveal something. In this stage of my life I therefore tend to initiate conversation with a bright-eyed expectation for what might and will follow if I contribute my portion and “open up” enough.

Do something or do nothing – that’s the proposition. Initiate or don’t. Sometimes, but not often, the other person initiates and when they do it may seem presumptuous at first but usually winds up being a refreshing diversion. Sometimes (often) my persona assumes a serious and perhaps intimidating visage so I try to radiate a more inviting luster and I may tend to initiate - go into “active” mode. I try to maintain a force field that is inviting if not engaging and initiating.    

Our “force fields” are a consequence of a decision. After all, the circumstances about us are what they are and life and the world is in motion. The windows of life intersections approach, dwell for an moment, and then pass. We are part of a kaleidoscope of ever changing images and perceptions; one chip of brightly colored uniquely shaped glass, tumbling and bumping about amongst the others, reflecting the light as it bounces off our surface. We all reflect something.

Some of us nurture a light that shines from within us that adds to the cacophony around us. Some of us, like prisms, also bend and split the light, discerning it, sorting it, organizing it and interpreting it ... making sense of it from a perspective not anchored in this mere life reality but from an eternal vantage. Some absorb the light fully; dark, drawing, draining. If you are out and about amongst humanity, there you tumble, there you reflect and there you project or simply draw.

Circumstance ~ Consequence ~ Providence

Life is a cornucopia of circumstances. Try as we might to exert our plan on the universe, unforeseen events and distractions cross our path, obscure our view and frustrate our single-minded ambitions. We are presented with distractions that provoke our imaginations in positive and negative ways. Oh, our blessed imaginations and our conscience that inspire us to better things! Oh, our damned imaginings that conjure fear and deepen our struggle with the knowledge of what is right and what is wrong. Are our circumstances the consequence of our decisions and actions or are they ordered by the hand of Providence? I would say, yes and yes!

Most have seen the movie “Forrest Gump” or have at least heard the quote about ‘life being like a box of chocolates…’. It wasn’t until I was grown up and head of a household that I was able to behold and control an entire pristine box of assorted chocolates and like a naughty child poke each one to the point of puncture in order to find out what was inside each before committing to the first. I still do it - after the guests are out of sight - and my reproving wife still scolds me for my lack of control … and then carefully examines the damaged contents to discern her favorites ....

So - - - I recently took a flight to visit my daughter in Florida. In my former life as a marketing and sales executive air travel was a weekly affair. I don’t miss the deadlines and the pressure and the close connections. I do miss the people-watching and the people-meeting. As I settled into my aisle seat and grabbed the in-flight magazine I wondered if there would be an occupant for that vacant middle seat between myself and the window. Before long a young lady about the age of my daughter stopped short in front of me and, cocking her head, looked straight at that middle seat and announced, “that’s me!”

I helped her lift her carry-on “safe” into the overhead bin (I don’t know what she had in that thing) and she slid into her seat. The first thing I noticed was the dog hair all over her black jacket. There it was - my invitation to initiate!

My wife and I had recently lost our American Eskimo dog of 12 years and - let me tell you – you cannot wear anything black or dark with that breed around. American Eskimos don’t shed, they BLOW fur. Their individual fur fibers also possess an extrordinary electrostatic charge characteristic that enables them to literally leap feet from a surface and onto your pristine jacket or slacks. I was trying to figure out what breed of dog this young lady might own by the fur on her coat when she caught me looking and apologized, “I’m not getting any of that on you am I?”  “No”, I said, “and I really wouldn’t mind”, I said, “on account of my experience with dog fur...”.

And so a conversation began. It was about dogs. It was about her fiancé. It was about her career as a teacher and her passion for children and about how poorly she felt she was being treated by her boss. It was about a broken family and a need for a father's advice and love. It was about differences in generations and the importance of proving oneself. We drifted to the possibility of overseas teaching and then to missions work with children. We crossed the line and talked about faith. I dared to ask her how I might pray for her. It was okay.

I recommended a book and then she recommended a book. She recommended, The Art of Racing In The Rain by Garth Stein, a book supposedly narrated by a dog from the dog’s perspective. Her suggestion followed the line of our conversation. I made a mental note, we eventually landed and went our separate ways.

In the airport during my return trip several days later I wandered into the concourse gift shop to get some gum and, maybe, a magazine. There was nothing that interested me so I glanced at the books offered (I never buy books in the airport – too expensive) … and there it was right in front of my nose, The Art of Racing In The Rain! I bought it not even checking the price.  

I devoured 70 pages of the book on the flight home. I might have read more but I have this habit of making notes in every book I read when I come across a contemplative passage, a unique phrase or a clever arrangement of words. I know that authors consciously embed these verbally succulent tidbits in their books and I give them their due chewing them slowly and savoring every essence of them. Anyway, (though I don't agree with the reincarnation slant of the book) this read was whimsically entertaining and had quite a few “tidbits” early on and many were metaphors about race car driving (... the book title begins to make sense …). The greatest of these metaphors was captured in the following statement, “That which you manifest is before you.”  As you act and how you engage all that you encounter in life, so will your life be. Let that percolate for a moment.

That phrase was already "quickened" to me when I read it, as was the phrase, “I am and I do” and Proverbs 23:7 “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”, 1 Samuel 16:7, “the man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”, Matthew 15:19,”for out of the heart proceed …” and Psalm 139:23,”Search me oh God and know my heart …”.

The heart. The heart. That which I manifest is before me. That which I am in my heart is before me.  My heart is my destiny. I had been praying to God about my heart, whether or not it was right and aligned with His. In devotion I had been asking for a right heart about many things. I came to embrace with a fullness that God knows my heart better than I and that He is the changer of hearts.

When I wonder why God’s plan is not “manifesting” I have only to consider that, perhaps, he knows that my heart is not yet right for it. And so, He tests and trials me until that right heart is indeed manifest and then His “Plan” begins to manifest as well. Oh the simplicity and the complicity of it all!

                                            James 4:1-17

Ezekiel 11:19, “I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit in them and take the stony heart out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh.” and 2 Corinthians 5:17, “ If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new.”

If I am truly His it is no longer my heart or my character but His heart and His character that manifests. My joy becomes not mine but His as I enter into it.

Coincidence? The very day that I publish this post, today, I had to make a revision and add something. My Pastor delivered an electrifying  message anchored in the gospel of John, chapter 14, verse 21; "He who has my commandments and keeps them (authentic obedience), it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him."

Life is indeed a box of blessed chocolates! But you’ve got to give yourself to Him, engage the world as His and share unafraid.

Be unafraid. Initiate. Let the light without reflect on your character (His character) and let the light within (Him) shine out. Like the chocolates, ‘You never know what you’re going to get’ - but it sure will be good and you will sense His pleasure in it.

'Ask and it will be given, seek and you shall find.'

MANIFEST!

All the best!

Bill